Scarcity, Skincare, and Trauma Response

 

Hello! I know it's usually all hair, all the time around here, but I can't just ignore my love for makeup and skincare. At this stage of the game, I'm all about protecting, nourishing, and repairing my skin. My goal is to have such amazing skin that I don't NEED to wear makeup to hide myself, just to enhance and play. And guess who just got a fresh order from Sephora??!!

My obsession with skincare started fairly young. My mom and my Aunt Amber probably had the strongest influence. I remember my mom and her Mary Kay--this was the early 80's--the big jar of slick, pink ointment...that same jar lasted probably a decade. But honestly so did the little flat container of pancake makeup...I used the last vestiges as concealer in high school. They just didn't make anything else like it at the time. And let's not get into how completely disgusting and unsanitary the whole situation sounds. We didn't know any better back then.

While the importance of skincare was highlighted, the cost of maintenance was not. Growing up in scarcity gave me some pretty strange habits when it came to purchasing and using products. Like I mentioned, I used what I had access to when I was younger. Once I started working, I would gradually add a Cover Girl foundation, powder, mascara...and I practically traveled with the eyelash curler my mom handed down to me.

In college, I gained access to CREDIT CARDS. Who knows what the other mid-90's poor kids did with those! I won't get into that journey now, but I will say that access to the Lancome, Clinique, and Estee Lauder counters at The BonTon taught me everything I needed to know about my willingness to spend more to get more with the Gift With Purchase. It allowed me to FEEL like I was a different person, just having higher quality makeup and skincare products, finally treating myself to something nice. But here's the tricky part, and I will admit most of this post is kind of a trigger.

I wouldn't use the good stuff. Not at first. I would buy it, put it on my vanity, let myself admire it, and then hoard it. I felt like I should use the other stuff up first, but I would want to try the new products, open them, use them a few times...and feel guilty about using them when I had other stuff that was already open. Then I would feel guilty about NOT using them. I would continue to make the purchases because it felt good to buy them, and even if I didn't need them, I wasn't sure if or when I'd have the ability to buy them again. 

It was a painful cycle that I have worked really hard to move through. There is something so oddly painful about money, guilt, and buying things that are considered luxury items. 

Now that I'm in my mid-forties, I have done a lot of work to realize that the feelings and habits surrounding money are trauma responses from my childhood. Money and the ability to purchase nice things should be a neutral issue, but it is something that I find very difficult still. Clothes, shoes, even purchasing basics...it's always been a kind of all or nothing thing. 

Even as a salon owner specializing in luxury extension and color services, I have difficulty saying yes to the things that would make my business better in certain ways. Like, if I can clean the salon myself, why pay someone to do it? Or do I really need a new hair dryer that would make my styling faster? Or the biggest struggle is currently do I really need to hire an assistant to help me streamline my productivity and energy when technically I can do it by myself? 

All triggers surrounding WORTHINESS, SECURITY, SAFETY, and then there's SKINCARE? I know, it seems like a very dotted line that connects these things, but as a woman in the beauty industry who grew up in scarcity? I can't believe it's really that uncommon. In fact, as I've grown through my NBR and BMS education, some of the biggest things we work on is ridding ourselves of these types of stories and limiting beliefs. You can't offer and charge a premium for a luxury service if you don't believe you're worth it. 

And just like L'Oreal always says...You're Worth It. And I finally, emphatically, believe that I am.

Thank you for reading this post. It has taken me a lot longer to push the Publish button on this one. But one of the realizations I had recently is that I can't lie to myself about why I do things. I figure if I can be open about the things I've experienced, and why I'm driven to create a better life for myself and my family, it can only help other women. Especially in the beauty industry. If I can encourage you to do one thing--say Yes to one thing that could be your domino.

And as always, to learn more about The NBR® Experience at Strands Salon:

https://nbrextensionsbylindsayc.com

https://strandssaloncorning.com

https://form.jotform.com/LindsayCrance/nbr-application

https://instagram.com/beautybylindsayc

https://instagram.com/strands_salon_corning

Watch my latest YouTube video here:

https://youtu.be/75Mc0PElgkU